Walden

In January 2016 two hostile helicopters closed in on the ship in a threatening manner. The helicopter ignored multiple warning signals and continued to circle the ship. We were instructed by the captain to take battle stations in case of an engagement. During this time I remembered feeling helpless and feeling the need to protect me and my fellow shipmates at any cost. After about 30 minutes the helicopters disengaged however, the anxiety and fear that ran through my body caused me to have recurring nightmares.

After the completion of my second deployment, in July 2016. I learned of the suicide of a chief who was also my mentor and section leader. Marking at the time the 5th suicide of a shipmate, our children were born 10 days apart. The thought of our lives being so similar for him to commit suicide with warning caused me to worry about the same fat for myself. I still have nightmares of not being to stop him from committing suicide even though I was there in my dream.

During the last few months of my service, there were a series of collins throughout varios fleets within a few weeks of eahother. In those collisions i lost two former friends that i had served with at previous duty stations. Once the report of how they were trapped in their sleeping quarters and drowned to death due to this i had repeated nightmares of being there with them i could no longer sleep in my designated berthing because it is the same berthing where they were drowned. Which is the forward most berthing on the ship i instead slept in my shop near the bridge in fear of having the same fate as mt two shipmates. I still have nightmares of waking up underwater in my rack.