None of us are 100% of only one style, we are a blend of each of the four styles. Furthermore, in some situations (such as high pressure at work) we may tend to prefer one style, while in another situation (like relaxing with friends) we prefer a different approach.
However, when you consider the person you identified at the start – the person you have difficulty connecting with – I would like you to ask yourself if you can answer some simple questions.
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One: Does that person fit reasonably strongly into one of these four styles? (If you had to pick one of the four, which best represents that person?)
Two: Is that a different style to your own preferred style?
Three: So why are you surprised that you find it hard to communicate with them?
If we want to gain that person’s full attention, we need to adapt the way we are trying to get through to them!
No, we do not need to change our message. We need to change the way we are expressing it.
Let’s move on to think about some tips on how to do this. As a little test, check out the suggestions for communicating with somebody like yourself, with your preferred communication style – would these seem like good strategies to you?