Shyness

Shyness can arise from different sources. In some cases, it may stem from an inborn personality trait. Jerome Kagan and others have found that some infants are highly sensitive to stimulation, inhibited, and cautious shortly after birth. In other cases, shyness develops as a learned reaction to failed interactions. In other words, interpersonal problems of the past can ignite social anxieties about the future.

Not all shy infants grow up to become inhibited adults. But longitudinal research indicates that there is some continuity, that this aspect of our person- alities may be predictable from our temperament and behavior as young chil- dren. Toddlers observed to be inhibited, shy, and fearful at age 3, for example, are more likely than toddlers who were more outgoing to be socially isolated at age 21. The differences can be seen in the adult brain. Using fMRI, researchers have recently observed that people who are shy, compared to those who are bold, exhibit greater activity in the amygdala—a region of the brain

responsible for fear processing—when exposed to pictures of strangers

Whatever the source, shyness can be a problem with painful consequences. Studies show that shy people evaluate themselves negatively, expect to fail in their social encoun- ters, and blame themselves when they do. As a result, many shy people go into self-imposed isolation, which often makes them feel lonely. In part, the problem stems from a paralyzing fear of rejection, which inhibits people from making friendly or romantic overtures to those they are interested in. What’s worse, people who fear rejection think that their friendly or romantic interest is transparent to others, which leads them to back off. One important caveat: To most westerners, shyness is a weakness to overcome. Yet in rural parts of more collectivist cultures, where “fitting in” is ultimately important, shyness can be socially appropriate and adaptive.